Post II for today — this one written by Harrison. (I even left in his spelling mistakes)

I have come to the conclusion that I should put in my own two cents. I don’t think this will serve anyone but myself; but I feel as though I may as well put my thoughts out there. I should also add that I have written this without being permitted by my mother to put this on this page. I plan on writing this, passing it to her and requesting with an oh so charming smile to share this with the (curious) world. Sadly, I have found my writing to be less clever than my mother’s, but I will try regardless.
People always wonder about unfamiliar things. As my mom can vouch for, I am the first person to bombard another with questions. So it would be expected that people would have questions for me about my sister’s transformation and my journey along her side. I have found the question I am asked the most, is a simple one at first glance, “How are you doing with all of this.” All of this is a very broad subject, am I wrong? School is fine, it sucks, but it’s fine. I’m not happy with the weather, but I guess it’s not snowing. I have an amazing girlfriend, she supports all of that. Wait, what’s this… you were referring to my transgender sister (sorry, still haven’t mastered the terminology)… I guess that’s the “this”. I never know how to answer; I don’t think I ever will. Even once the subject in question is narrowed in upon, it’s still so broad. It’s so strange, once I got over the new name and gender pronouns, I felt like I mastered the change. I don’t see all of this anymore. It used to be George (n.c.i) would be having a meltdown about getting a wig… and now… it’s… a… meltdown about getting… a wig. Ok, problem solved, we’re done here.
Not quite.
There are still hurdles, as I can recall, my mom has mentioned in her previous posts about George (n.c.i) and the persona that certainly proceeds him (g.c.i). EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, knows George (n.c.i). Even the Comella’s girl. This is certainly the challenge that is most prominent. I will be walking to class and a friend of mine that is not yet ‘in the loop’ will ask about “George”. In the interest of time, I will give a quick “good” and “keep calm and carry on” as those mugs say. I truthfully feel like I’m lying, and I know it’s only doing a disservice to my family, but I don’t ever get a chance in my day to address everyone. I have no issue with telling people, not at all. Their reaction to it doesn’t affect me. I welcome people to think what they want, that’s up to them. I just don’t like the fact that I haven’t found my way of telling the people in my circle.
As previously stated, I don’t have a goal for this piece, nor a closure. It’s only my two cents. (My English teachers would also be taking off from my grade right about now for a “lack of a “SO WHAT”, but hell, I can do what I want, right? I don’t have a so what; nor do I need one. These are the thoughts bouncing around up there and they need to get out. I appreciate your time in reading this sporadic piece.

As a side note:
Jessie, I love you, but I am bigger. I get to sit in the front.

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30 thoughts on “Post II for today — this one written by Harrison. (I even left in his spelling mistakes)

  1. Harrison, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Maybe people ask “how are you doing…” because they cannot imagine being placed in a similar situation and not having their own problems “handling things”. I have seen first hand what an incredible young man you are and am privileged to know you.

    Now, go take out the trash. (that was for your mom)

    Susan

  2. Rock on, Harrison! You’re just as clever as your mother (sorry Julie, but he is). Please keep writing!
    -Jenn
    (For reference, I knew your mom and dad @ Skidmore and I also worked with your mom many years ago.)

  3. No one on earth is a better brother than Harry and I couldn’t be happier or prouder to be your uncle.

    And while everyone is praising Jessie for her strength and conviction, I am guessing she learned that from you.

    Lots of love, RL

  4. When I became a parent, they sent us off from the hospital, without a manual. We are still navigating the way…
    All of you are handling your path with grace, poise, love and of course great humor!!!
    This is such a personal journey thanks for sharing.
    Laura Hart

  5. WOW!! Can you say “mature?” Harrison, I’ve never met you or your mom, but I am in awe of both of you. I don’t know many 17 year olds who could be as understanding and supportive. I always tell my own kids not to care about what people think, and clearly you have been taught that very well. Jessie is so very lucky to have a brother like you, and your parents are so very lucky to have a son like you. Keep writing, because your perspective is wonderful to hear!

    • Harrison has long been known for being mature. Just to set the record straight, however, let me tell you that his room is a total shit hole and I pray for his college roommate and future spouse that he matures further into a neater person. That said, he is pretty swell. Most of the time.

      • Love this post. Thanks Harrison. Never met you but hear lots about you. And Julie, he cant be great at everything in life. He has to have a ‘mess’ somewhere in his life and glad its just his room. Maybe its his way of keeping people out. I know someone that keeps their desk at work a mess so no visitors would squat at their desk when they are away. I think its pretty clever.
        Love you guys.

  6. Harrison,
    This is a wonderful post and very open and honest–and with a wonderful sense of humor (and well-written) If any of your teachers were to say,”what’s the ‘so what’ in this piece?” they would be missing so much. This is all a process (yes, I trained at a social worker, but I have also taught writing) both emotionally/psychologically and in putting yourself on paper; it’s too soon for there to be a final point you want to make. I suspect you’ll make many of them over the years, and some–like this–make a point just as they are.

    As for struggling with the time (it seems like that is some of what it is) to tell your outer-circle friends, drop a hint that makes them pause and possibly follow up with you or with another friend. When some asks, “How’s George?” respond with “She’s fine, thanks.”

  7. I’m slowly working my way through this blog, smiling frequently, tearing up occasionally, and feeling my grinch’s heart grow bigger and bigger with every post. This has to be my favorite post so far, Harrison seems like such a wonderful kid (as does the rest of your family). I know for a fact (because I knew a MTF transkid when I was in high school) that I was not nearly as accepting at that age as Harrison is. I am now, but only after 4 years of college and lots of life-changing experiences.

    Thank you for sharing your story with the Internet at large. Reading your blog makes my days brighter.

    • Many thanks. I will be sure to let Harrison know that he took the prize in your book. I wish I could take full credit for his wonderfulness but he just came out that way!

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