I have come to the conclusion that I should put in my own two cents. I don’t think this will serve anyone but myself; but I feel as though I may as well put my thoughts out there. I should also add that I have written this without being permitted by my mother to put this on this page. I plan on writing this, passing it to her and requesting with an oh so charming smile to share this with the (curious) world. Sadly, I have found my writing to be less clever than my mother’s, but I will try regardless.
People always wonder about unfamiliar things. As my mom can vouch for, I am the first person to bombard another with questions. So it would be expected that people would have questions for me about my sister’s transformation and my journey along her side. I have found the question I am asked the most, is a simple one at first glance, “How are you doing with all of this.” All of this is a very broad subject, am I wrong? School is fine, it sucks, but it’s fine. I’m not happy with the weather, but I guess it’s not snowing. I have an amazing girlfriend, she supports all of that. Wait, what’s this… you were referring to my transgender sister (sorry, still haven’t mastered the terminology)… I guess that’s the “this”. I never know how to answer; I don’t think I ever will. Even once the subject in question is narrowed in upon, it’s still so broad. It’s so strange, once I got over the new name and gender pronouns, I felt like I mastered the change. I don’t see all of this anymore. It used to be George (n.c.i) would be having a meltdown about getting a wig… and now… it’s… a… meltdown about getting… a wig. Ok, problem solved, we’re done here.
There are still hurdles, as I can recall, my mom has mentioned in her previous posts about George (n.c.i) and the persona that certainly proceeds him (g.c.i). EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, knows George (n.c.i). Even the Comella’s girl. This is certainly the challenge that is most prominent. I will be walking to class and a friend of mine that is not yet ‘in the loop’ will ask about “George”. In the interest of time, I will give a quick “good” and “keep calm and carry on” as those mugs say. I truthfully feel like I’m lying, and I know it’s only doing a disservice to my family, but I don’t ever get a chance in my day to address everyone. I have no issue with telling people, not at all. Their reaction to it doesn’t affect me. I welcome people to think what they want, that’s up to them. I just don’t like the fact that I haven’t found my way of telling the people in my circle.
As previously stated, I don’t have a goal for this piece, nor a closure. It’s only my two cents. (My English teachers would also be taking off from my grade right about now for a “lack of a “SO WHAT”, but hell, I can do what I want, right? I don’t have a so what; nor do I need one. These are the thoughts bouncing around up there and they need to get out. I appreciate your time in reading this sporadic piece.
As a side note:
Jessie, I love you, but I am bigger. I get to sit in the front.