The Curls Have It?

I have started seventeen blog entries this week.  Okay, maybe it wasn’t seventeen, but it felt like at least fifteen.  None is complete and all fall into one (or many) of the following categories: depressing, stupid, TMI, depressing (yeah, I know I already said that), irritating, infuriating or depressing (shut up, I know).  As such, I am trying, yet again, to be articulate, witty, profound and poignant: all unsuccessfully.

Having just returned from the gym I am going to have a shower and pray to the water G-ds to instill me with not only a clean and fragrant body, but an inspired spirit.  I hope to return feeling enlivened and smelling better than I do right now.

Twenty three minutes later:

My body and my hair are now clean.  I have put on the necessary make-up (primarily moisturizer and, duh, mascara) and have Ouidad-ed my hair to within an inch of its life. (  I’ve embraced my curls and I am sure to bump into someone who will comment that they “love my hair curly!”  I will not share their sentiment, but having been pressured to try aforementioned Ouidad I will admit to being happier with them than I have in the past.  Much happier: which goes a long way these days.

The start of one of the many aborted blogs was discussing the inadvisability (and unpleasantness) of having everyone in the house in a funk (which has varying definitions depending upon which family member we are referring to) at the same time.  It was that one which led me to my decision that it was too depressing, stupid, TMI-ish, irritating, infuriating and again, depressing to elaborate upon.  It is also that which has rendered me unable to fulfill my blogging requirements and expectations.  And, truth be told, it is driving me nuts.

When all the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan several months ago, I was devastated by many things, by far not the least of which was my inability to write.  I had trouble constructing a list for the supermarket, let alone anything of any value.  I considered it the nadir of my emotional life.  It depressed and scared me perhaps more than everything else that lay ahead.  It wasn’t even that I was blogging or even emailing all that much – it was the fact that I had lost all access to an original or articulate thought which, to me, signaled the end.

And then I rallied.  I could sit at my laptop (when it wasn’t being used by a certain ten-year old who deemed her computer too slow so needed to hijack mine) and bang out a piece that was meaningful and appreciated.  Many of my favorites I can hardly recall composing…it just flowed naturally.  Now?  Not so much.  Right this moment, I liken my lack of creativity to a closed toilet lid: you suspect there is something in there, but you are reluctant to take a peek not knowing what you might find, in part because it could be ugly and, somehow worse, it could be empty.   (I know that a lot of people make it a habit to keep the lid down.  Around these parts the lid is always open, just waiting for a visitor or an overflow.  One just never knows.  Especially around here.)  Oh, I know it is a gross analogy, but no one ever said this was going to be a fun, classy or easy blogging journey.

Just bear with me.  I am sure I will get my mojo back one of these days.  Perhaps my curly tresses (again: and reclaimed laptop (my mother, bless her heart, just gave Jessie her old one which translates to no more sharing for me!) will give me the slap upside the head that I seem to need.  I hate to disappoint y’all but trust me…the other blogs I started would do little other than either bum you out or make you ever more grateful that you are not me.  I’ve shaken things up with my hair, so perhaps my creativity will follow suit.  No pressure, Ouidad, ( but here’s hoping you hold the magic (curling) wand.

p.s. Special thanks and shout out to HKS of Needham, NYC and Ouidad fame…

34 thoughts on “The Curls Have It?

  1. From one curly-haired mother to another, hang the heck in there. We all know you have what it takes to rally, overcome, climb over obstacles, laugh when you might want to cry – and still look fantastic. No one is counting blog posts; we all are just here with open and supporting arms.

    PS: now, i must try Ouidad!
    PPS: loved the shoes, BTW. I own them 🙂

    • I’m hanging, I’m hanging!

      p.s. Try it — first thing I have tried that actually seems to work, but your curls always look good.
      p.p.s. Why the fuck don’t the come in other colors?? I want three more pairs.

      • Good. Hang!
        PS: my favorite product (Goldwell Curl Kick is no longer available, so I’m hunting for a new product.
        PPS: SO comfortable, right????

      • ps: try this…they even have a “starter kit” at Sephora.
        pps: ridiculously so. wore them in the heat while trekking up city hills and my back (and foot) felt great. who’da thunk it?

  2. I found your blog when I learned that a friend’s child was dealing with transgender issues. I was hoping that your blog would give me more insight into what the family faces in order to provide support where it is appropriate. In general you are not sharing much information and your blog posts are vague and uninformative…should I keep reading or are you now reconsidering your original intentions?

    • I am sorry to disappoint. If you go back in the blogs you will see the adventure that is all part of living with a child who identifies as transgender and if you think a bit about each post you will see that they all do, in fact, shed light on what a family goes through during this process. Admittedly, some posts are more “vague” and “uninformative” than others, but so, too, is life with a child of any kind – transgender or not.
      It is entirely up to you whether you want to continue reading or not. I would love to have you, but certainly don’t want to waste your time.

      • This is YOUR blog. You own it and have total control. We readers can choose to read the posts or not, but you should not change your writing for the sake of readers who may need to look elsewhere for their information.

        While I don’t know any transgendered people, much less children, I have found your posts enlightening and interesting. I admire the honesty in them and especially the humor you find in this parenting challenge. (I’m still laughing about little girls and nuts.) In my book you are a five-star mom for having the courage to allow your child to be the person she was meant to be.

        BTW: I have curly hair as well. When I was a little girl I so admired the shiny sleek straight hair on some of my friends. And I don’t even want to think of what I did in the 70s to make my long hair cool and straight. At least until the next humid day.

    • I’ll help you with insight, Kat. Don’t expect the parents of transgender children to educate you and hold your hand. It’s not Julie’s or anyone’s job. You will never have a clear understanding of what these families face. You can learn a few things, but it won’t necessarily be an “easy read.”

      You can be supportive in the same ways you support anyone–by researching, paying attention, and being loving and compassionate. And no matter how much you support your friends, they probably wouldn’t appreciate you berating the parent of another transgender child for not producing to your expectation.

      • Well said! Thanks for showing the articulation (and compassion?) that apparently evaded me.

    • Yeah, really. Sometimes life feels like a train wreck and something as ridiculous as a good hair product can make an otherwise shitty day just a little bit better. You are seriously offended? Wow…I file that under: your problem, not mine. That said, my hair looks spankin’ and my day was better as a result. That is all part of this whole parenting game: doing whatever it takes to make it just that much easier.

  3. I am actually a tad stunned that anyone would call into question your topics. It is YOUR blog. It does not always need to be insightful, it does not always need to be awe-inspiring. Why? Because life is not always insightful and awe-inspiring. Sometimes it is all about a good hair day. Your blog responsibilities are set by you and only you. Don’t worry about ‘bumming out’ people either. People are reading because they are wondering how you are doing. You need to get some stuff out, go ahead. That might be why you feel like you are blocked, because you are worrying too much about what might or might no bum people out and you can’t get that stuff out to get to the other stuff. Toss your curls about, girl, clear your head and write what you want to write.

  4. I think there is nothing that stills creativity to your blog more than stress about expectations. And they really are our own – minus the zeros that you really don’t need as readers anyway! I had expectations of myself to write everyday during Lent – my thoughts flowed for days without restraint. Then it just dried up. The more I fretted, the more dry it became! Now that I gave myself permission not to write everyday, only when I was inspired, I’m noticing that I delete those emails of daily posts from those that write daily blogs (even very regular). We don’t need to read something regularly from you, Julie. We all know that when we open something from you, it IS witty, profound and poignant, especially when it’s not pushed. Take a break. There’s no rules here unless you make them. The proverbial WE love you!

    • This may well be my favorite comment ever. Note to readers: the writer is not someone that I know in real life. That makes the comment that much more meaningful.

      • Yay……you embracing the “go fuck yourself” and laughter in your next post and then *publicizing it* may well be (one of my) favorite posts of YOURS. Thank God for nearing 50 (and therapists). 😛

      • Thanks, Laurie. I happen to think that “go fuck yourself” is among the best expressions ever. I use it in my head. A lot.

  5. You go curl! Glad to know that we can add a bit of curl confidence and a smile to your day. Keep making waves and now go throw that flat iron away! As Ouidad believes – love and embrace the gift you were born with! Applies to curls and everything else!

    • And the timing is great since it is supposed to pour all weekend — who the hell wants to fight the curl then?

  6. For my 30th birthday my husband sent me to NYC to get a cut and style at the Ouidad Salon. He was tired of my hysterics after every haircut and really tired of sloshing through puddles of tears on the bathroom floor every morning. Thus my love afair with Ouidad blossomed as did my love of my curls.. I finally knew how to take care of them and make them work. On a few crazy days I think I’ll try to save money and go back to non-Quidad products. It never works, I always end up throwing out the offending product and begging forgiveness from my Ouidad bottles. Bonus: my area finally got a Ouidad certified stylist and I no longer have to travel to NY, NC, or FL for a haircut!

  7. This is “real life”, Julie. Yours! And we are blessed that you choose to shere it with us. As virtual as the web may appear, the people who are reading your blogs are also real and realise that some days may not produce anything worthy of sharing. Life is like that. I’m sure there are also many readers who would like to read those tidbits that you occasionally mention but elect not to share, but we also respect your right to privacy to choose what we get to read.
    I think I have read every word you have put here and I haven’t found one that left me disappointed.
    I have a hug for you. It’s virtual, “not real”, untill you share it with Jessie and the boys, then you will feel some of the “real” love that comes from your readers.


  8. Julie….as you know I too have curly hair and have used MANY products. For the past month I have used the Ouidad play curl shampoo and conditioner…I thought that it was going to work for me…It isn’t working for me so I am going back to the Luscious Curls shampoo and conditioner from Frederic Fekkai
    I also use another product call Fudge…
    Give them a try, you may like them.
    I let my hair dry naturally…
    I wish you would have told them to F-off!

  9. Pingback: it’s nice to know I’m not the only one | seashell by the seashore

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