Cameron Cole

You know how when you are  pregnant and it suddenly seems that everyone around you is, too?  Well, I have found that to be true about having a transgender child.  Okay, not everyone has or is a transgender kid, but it sure seems that it is far more prevalent than any of us (me, certainly) might have thought.  

Earlier today I received a Facebook message from a kid named Cameron.  He had gotten my name from (see if you can follow)his mother’s boyfriend’s sister who, as it happens, is a dear friend of mine from high school who, you guessed it, I was reunited with via the power of Facebook.  Cameron was reaching out to me having recently (as in today) officially come out to the world as transgender.  Below, following some of his own words,  is the video that he posted to share his story as well as a piece he wrote about his adventure (remember, I hate the word “journey”.)

At the conclusion of our first (there will be many more) chat I told him that I was pretty sure I loved him a little bit.  I think you will, too. 

(Note: I have made no changes, right down  to his note to me at the end.  Seriously, I dare you not to love this kid.)

 I’ve always been the same person. Yes, I admit, there are times where I’m not all there, but I am still me. I have discovered something about myself recently- something so incredibly obvious that I can’t believe I’m just seeing it now. I’m a guy. I always have been a guy. No, not physically, but mentally, no doubt. I was the line backer on the tackle football team as a child, and I played baseball instead of softball. I played ‘house’ and Barbies when I was younger, but I always claimed the role of the son or Ken. I preferred to be called ‘Nick’, and I could always out-throw the boys. I was attracted to girls at an extremely young age, and then fell into the ‘I’m-a-twelve-year-old-girl’ phase and pretended I never looked at girls that way. Now fast forward to Sophomore year. I cut most of my hair off and fashioned a Tegan and Sara look- pretty much a coming out statement in itself. I had my first over-dramatic girlfriend, got dumped, cheered, and moved on. I ended up throwing the label ‘lesbian’ on myself, as it seemed to be the closest fit to what I was experiencing at the time. From tomboy to masked preteen to lesbian, I thought I had found myself. Of course, high school is all about change. Life in general is, and that’s what brings us to the present. It’s so very strange how change and truth go together here. I’m revealing the truth by changing. I’m finally discovering who I am. So far, I’ve gathered that I’m a hopeless romantic trans guy, trying to make his way while helping others on the same path. It took sixteen years to realize that, and approximately six months to come to terms with it.
    After coming out as gay, it’s not exactly a huge deal to come out as transgender. Starting with my friends who all just happen to be flaming homosexuals, the truth was told. I then shared it with my mother, my siblings, other friends, and even the school dean. The amount of support and respect everyone is already displaying is utterly amazing. People are starting to call me Cameron and using male pronouns. Everyone is adapting so quickly, it’s almost unbelievable.
    I feel as though I’ve been transitioning throughout my entire life, and I’m being reborn. It’s as if I unknowingly started transitioning in freshman year. Everything is happening naturally and absolutely nothing feels forced. After a lot of research and deep thought, I’m going to start gender therapy and I’ll soon be taking prescribed testosterone injections. I’m definitely in a good place right now, and I could not be here without my friends and family supporting my every move. My name is Cameron Cole and I’m finally happy.
Julie, thank you so much for letting me share my story. Feel free to edit it- I’m merely a sixteen year old with high school grammar.
And here’s the video: (note: I hope it works…we had some technical issues on my end – likely user error – but hopefully it works…because it is awesome.)

24 thoughts on “Cameron Cole

  1. I watched the video on FB before I read your blog and this note! Am I in love? Are you kidding? This is one fabulous brave amazing kid. There are lessons in this for everyone and anyone who can’t see that is lost. I am honored to have read and watched just a moment of his adventure (really wanted to say journey but know better! ) what a fabulous human!

      • What a wonderful kid! I’m so happy that you and he connected and know that each of you will have a lot to teach each other. I commend you for being such a fabulous mom and doing the right thing for your child and look forward to reading your blog as time goes on. I just spent the last two days reading all of your blog entries and think you are one hell of a woman! I wish all the best to you and your family.

  2. So proud of Cameron! I hope his friends and family continue to support him through this journey.
    Thank you for sharing,

  3. Well, I had to wonder if your dear friend from high school might have been Kevin Bacon, but maybe he’s a couple more degrees of separation away.

    To me (a sixty-one-year-old transgender woman), the feel-good part of this is that Cameron can say, “,,,I could not be here without my friends and family supporting my every move.” I, like so many of us who suffered through a societal mindset that didn’t allow discussion, let alone demonstration, of gender variance, grew up feeling lonely and unloved. Unless one is allowed to be him or herself in the first place, even the love that is there does not feel real or complete; neither in the receiving or the giving. So, while I have the utmost respect and love for children like Cameron and Jessie for coming out, it is for their parents’ love and respect that I see the great hope for all of us. It may be easy, if not necessary, to say “f*** off” to those who are not supportive – or even disdainful (I still do), but my greater hope is that the love and respect shown at home will actually spread to society as a whole. As with most things, it all starts at home. Thank you, Julie, for all that you do toward that end.

    • Totally agree with Constance. This kid is far more self-aware than anyone I knew at 16 but what is most heartening is knowing his parents/family/friends support him (and have supported him thru these years of change and uncertainty) which is just awesome. Your providing him a voice on this forum also provides validation–another adult saying it’s OK to be who you are. Thank you for that.

      • Yes, Julie, it is important to take stock in the support, even when you get to the age where you need support in your stockings. 🙂 (not that either of us is even close to that age)

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