Aiden Jay

I received this comment in response to my last blog, “Yo, Jane Doe” and had to share.  I did not approve it in the comment section because it so clearly deserved more legs than that.  It is entirely self-explanatory.  And fabulous.  Be sure to click on the link to see the video!  Meet my newest idol: Aiden Jay


Submitted on 2013/02/17 at 4:43 pm

I am writing because my mother is an active follower of this blog and as a mother of a transsexual teen (ME) herself she has found comfort and understanding in the posts that she has read. This “Jane Doe” as they call themselves is a coward, but much more they are hypocrite. They call you out on the way in which you help others to accept their child, while telling you exactly how you should accept your own? That just doesn’t sit well with me as I am sure it didn’t with you. My mother, has spent the last 6 years supporting me and actively standing by my side to ensure I am safe and turn into a good man. While I choose to live my life without being stealth, I believe it is the parents purgative how they choose to share the information about your transition with others, especially in order to help others. The things you have posted, the stories you have told, and lives you have changed are important. As a transsexual man whom lives his life openly everyday and has the support and love of his family, I commend you and your daughter for your openness and for allowing people to look into your life, in order to help.
Although I understand why you wrestle with these ideas, rest assured that you are doing a very good thing.
I will leave you with one last piece of information: The transgender community often discusses how terrible it is that we are not only judged by those whom watch from the outside, but we judge our own members every day. We make people feel like they need to fit into a mold in order to be completely male or female and that they need to follow certain steps in order to transition and those who choose to not follow the same steps are viewed in a very different light. It is terrible that this kind of judgment is being portrayed in our accepting parents as well. You chose to love your child no matter what and help them to be the best they can be, no one has the right to tell you that you’ve done anything wrong.

After watching the link, and before publishing A’s comments here, I emailed him.  Here is our exchange with my notes in italics, his in boldface:

Hi Aiden!

 Thank you for reading my blog and for your incredibly thoughtful comment.  I would love to share it as a blog post along with the link to the wonderful story about you, but wanted to be sure you were okay with it before I did so.

 Curious: How did your mother find me??

 Please keep in touch.  You are my idol.


Unfortunately my mother is asleep but ill be sure to ask her and get back to you! 

 I would be honored if you were to share my post, I hope you know that I believe you are doing an incredible thing and no one should ever tell you other wise! 

My Facebook is I hope you’ll take a look at what I am about! I have so much to be proud of and it looks as though things are about to start going really well for me! It is my duty to help those who are not yet strong enough or old enough to help themselves! Thank you for making my job so much easier! 

Awesome.  I am rushing off to work this morning, but likely post something later on today and will keep you in the loop.  

You, my friend, are a rock star!

 p.s. So is your mom.  I love her “admission” (for lack of a better word) that this is scary to a parent…but we rabid moms will do anything to support our kids, scary or not!

That’s awesome! And yes, my mom is incredible! She has never stopped doing everything possible to make my life better, but she does the same things for my brother and sister, who are societies vision of “normal”. I just got lucky to have an incredible mother! Just like your daughter!

This is the second kid (the first being one Cameron Cole) who has touched my heart with their words, their strength and their awesome moms.  I’ve not had the pleasure to meet either one of them personally but am confident that they are both fine young gentlemen that anyone would be proud to call friend.  So take that, Jane Doe.

p.s. Before Jane (or anyone else, for that matter) considers ripping me a new one for publishing this information about Aiden, rest assured, I ran everything by him prior to publishing.

p.p.s. If you happen to run into Aiden or his mom, give them both a big hug for me, would ya?


13 thoughts on “Aiden Jay

  1. I find it very interesting that Jane Doe seems to know everything. She knows what’s right for everyone. Utterly amazing!!. I’ve lived a long time (as you know) and must admit I have very few sure answers to anything. There is a parable story which I cannot recall completely, but it tells the story of a young man who broke his leg, and that was bad, and then the Cossacks (this was a Russian story) came to take him into the army, saw his broken leg and left him, so that was good. It saved him from a worse fate, of getting killed. The story goes on, but the lesson is we never know what’s bad or good until the end of the story.

  2. You are a rock star! Julie hits it on the head again. What a great young man you are! Thanks for your honesty and bravery! It takes a lot to live out loud like you are doing and sets such a great example for all those kids who get negative messages all the time. As a therapist I love that I can point to people like you to illuminate to teenagers that it can be done! You rock and I am honored!

  3. Thank you SO MUCH, Aiden AND Julie! Obviously, it takes absolutely no courage to ‘speak up’ when you do so anonymously. Although my heart tells me to have compassion for Jane Doe, my head tells me other things. And they aren’t so nice 😉

  4. Julie, I just wanted to leave you a quick comment because you writing about the “Jane Doe” post struck a chord with me. You and I don’t do nearly the same work online (I film insane amounts of videos of a band as an expensive part-time hobby) but I get hate mail all the time from people, and reading about your experiences has been comforting. In the tiny little microcosm I operate in, all of the fans know me, and some are not shy to express their opinions on what I, as a 32-year-old woman, should and shouldn’t be doing with my time and money (and that usually doesn’t include being a part-time groupie). Though what I do is so different from what you do, some of the themes are so familiar… such as accusations of seeking attention or that you think you’re “better than” others somehow, and so on and so forth. And I feel like perhaps you might be a bit like me, in that all of the overwhelming support and positive feedback you receive can be nearly undone by one cutting, anonymous message, leaving you in a morass of self-doubt. So I just wanted to applaud you in the way you handle such situations head-on, with humor, and calling on your support network to help you out and back you up at the same time. I use you as inspiration to do the same, and to work on brushing off the negativity from others who think they best know how to live MY life. Bravo. 🙂 ~Jaime

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