No Sleep Plenty o’ Shoes

Oh, how I wish I could sleep.  I am quite sure that doing so would work wonders against the crying, short-temper and general bitchiness which seems to define me of late.  I am equally convinced that last night’s shoe shopping experience would have been wayyyy better.

In a few short weeks, my niece Sara is having her Bat Mitzvah (heretofore known as her BM, heehee…that never gets old) and, as such, several outfits for the entire family are in order.  I have begged Harrison to try on the suit I bought him last year for his semi-formal (did I mention that he long ago surpassed the ability to fit into a kid’s suit?  Read: man’s suit, man’s price tag) and he has, not surprisingly, failed to do so.  I am going on the assumption that it will fit.* I do so knowing that there is an excellent chance that it won’t.  That, however, is among the least of my worries.

Jessie needs two dresses; one for the service in the morning and one for the dance extravaganza at night.  I flat-out refused to purchase two new dresses, mostly because of the stress of doing so.  It is not that I bristle at her wearing a dress (that ship sailed a long time ago), rather her taste borders on eighteen year-old, stacked, leggy, curvy young woman as opposed to the eleven year old that she is.  In searching her closet I chose one dress that is more than appropriate for the morning which, for the kid set, at least, is far less important (fashion-wise, that is) than the evening.  In fact, she has worn it to Temple before with a sweater, tights and patent leather boots.  All we need to do to make it work is to lose the earlier accessories and add a cute pair of flats.  And therein lays the problem.

Okay, I admit to having a shoe thing.  I admit to having purchased more than, um, let’s say two pairs of wedges this season.  I even admit to perhaps having a problem with my love of shoes which may have been passed along to my child.  I cannot, however, sanction my eleven year old (transgender) child wearing heels or wedges to a BM party.  Am I wrong?

To her credit, she insisted that in our quest we go the way of Payless Shoes for her footwear.  “They are inexpensive, but not cheaply made” she argued (incorrectly).  So after a “Shabbat” dinner of Chinese food, off we went to begin the battle, er, search.  Now I don’t mean to sound obnoxious, snooty or rude (and if I do, blame it on the lack of sleep) but the shoes at Payless are nothing short of horrible.  And, much to my horror, she spotted several (all inappropriate) that she would have been more than happy to purchase.  In a not so proud moment, I got so skeeved that I insisted, in a perhaps too loud voice, that there was nothing there and we were heading to the far superior (and I used the term loosely) DSW.  Fortunately, the two stores are close together since this expedition began at 8pm on a Friday night and, as everyone knows, I am in a constant state of exhaustion and, um, short-temperedness.

As we entered the store, I reminded her of the parameters of acceptable footwear: black (will work with both outfits), flat or very little heel, under $50 and comfortable.  Next thing I know, she is trying on pink high top Converse stating that they would be cute with the dress at night.  Yeah, they would, but having attended many a BM in my day, I was quite sure that such a choice would result in hysteria upon arrival at party and subsequent discovery that no one else was wearing Converse.  Right?

I somehow managed to convince her to cut the shit, I mean, see things through the eyes of me, her mature, more knowledgeable, loving and sleep deprived mother and try on a few different little black shoes.  At the same moment, I noticed that she shoes that I bought for me the BM just last week were now marked down 30% and, blame it again on the lack of sleep, I got pissed and started rifling through my wallet for the receipt with visions of a price adjustment dancing through my head.  Do you have a visual yet?

In a victory for me (I have to tally them whenever humanly possible) we left with the perfect shoes for Jess and a promise from Brendan, the store manager, to adjust my pricing if I come back with the receipt today.  I assumed, from the double success, that a good night’s rest lay ahead.  I was wrong.  But at least we have good shoes now.


*Probably a mistake.  Oh, and his shoes might not fit, either.


17 thoughts on “No Sleep Plenty o’ Shoes

  1. Having been there and done that, last night in fact, here is my advice. Battle worth fighting: “You DON’T need a new dress for every event you attend! Your last name is not Kardashian!”

    Battle not worth fighting: Let her wear the highest, trashiest heels she wants to the party. She will be matching 99% of the girls there. At least that is how the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parties are out here. The shoes usually end up in a pile once the music starts anyway!

    Finally, get some sleep! That’s an order! 🙂

  2. So, I’m laughing as I read this post, having just gotten home from dropping my daughter off at at Bat Mitzvah service. And now worrying there’s a ‘rule’ about not wearing open toe sandals/wedge type to a synagogue!! Yikes! We aren’t Jewish but my daughter has been to many Bat Mitzvah’s over the past 2 years. I am always more focused on the outfit for the service (skirt/dress a respectable length…..shoulders covered!) Never thought about the shoes! As for the party, I’m less concerned on both counts….they take their shoes off to dance and in fact she’s come home with many pairs of colorful socks given at the parties!! Maybe the Converse for the party aren’t a bad idea! (ps…I like the shoes she got!)

  3. Great choices on both pairs. And btw, I would not buy payless shoes for my girls either…junk. If I wouldnt wear them…I wouldnt buy for them either. We did famous footwear. And they both grew up ok. I had to laugh at the converse high tops at a batmitzvah. Im sure they were cute though….I have kind of a shoe thing too!

    • I am fine with inexpensive, just not cheap. Cheap hooker shoes? Even worse. As for having a shoe thing? I believe it is blessed upon us at our baby naming ceremonies.

  4. Which location? Does she need a bag? I can loan her my pink LULU Townsend .. Hot pink sparkly Round clutch w chain..

    Sent from my iPhone

  5. Funny, how shoes can be so empowering, when they are attached to the opposite end of the body from the brain. I think that I find it just as (if not more) gratifying to hear someone ask me where I got those shoes as it is to ask me how I’ve been (At least I know that their interest in my shoes is probably more sincere). One’s shoes can speak volumes about herself before even one sentence can be articulated by mouth. Many 11-year-old girls are anxious to grow up and express their femininity, and a transgender girl may feel she has even more of a need than the average girl to prove it. Unfortunately, without the maturity and knowledge (of even a stressed, sleep-deprived mother), a cute pair of heels on a transgender girl may say: “I am a contestant on Ru Paul Jr’s Drag Race.” (only slightly more scary to imagine for a reality show than the already existing “Toddlers and Tiaras”) Without the proper connection between the brain and the shoes, then, the shoes can definitely say the wrong thing about the girl who is wearing them – not to mention the parent who allowed them to be worn.
    *BTW, can Jessie still fit into her mother’s shoes? Big feet are yet another challenge facing many of us T-girls. 😦

      • Well, then you soon will have to keep in mind what may be “handed down” to you when picking shoes for her. 😉 Oh, and what about the prospect of some mother-daughter sharing? I “borrowed” my mother’s heels until I was 14 (years of age; not size 14). Of course, nothing was openly shared between us, least of all her shoes. I’m just thinking again at how lucky Jessie is to have you for a mom. 🙂

  6. DSW with Sari yesterday (I hadn’t read this yet).
    First I got awesome black wedges ON.THE.SALE.RACK!!! These specific black wedges were planted in my head by one of your blogs, I believe last year when you got black wedges. Yes, I’ve been thinking about them for a year.
    Second, we went b/c Sari wanted rain boots. She got some cute ones and we had a coupon, but we walked out with HER shoes costing MORE than MINE. How is this happening???

  7. Geez, girls are getting more and more complicated!

    My 7 yo (and all her friends) thinks that makeup is an essential…not that I let her, but left to her own devices, she would never leave the house with a washed face..wonder where she got that from, because I rarely wear makeup.

    About the sleep deprivation part, have you tried drammamine or any other motion sickness medication? I take them on road trips because I get car sick all the time and they work like a charm – I usually remain knocked out for the better part of the trip!

    • Thanks for the suggestion. I had tried it, to no avail. I am good now with a non depency forming script. Keep your fingers crossed for me that it continues to work!

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