My Snowman

Update: As predicted, I am being blown up (in a good way) by texts, emails and FB chat messages…you guys are the bomb.

One week ago today my family’s world was, yet again, turned on its ear.  As crises tend to do, it came on  with far less warning than I, for one, would have appreciated.  Out of respect for the players, the details are not necessary, although I anticipate an onslaught of backdoor messages once this has posted which is, actually, part of the “beauty” of this whole mess.  It has been among the most horrible times ever for us (and that’s me talking) but, like all the other “most horrible times ever”, already we’ve seen silver linings take shape.


Those who do know the details have shown undying support.  Seriously broken relationships have been rehabilitated and grossly deteriorated fences have been mended.  Burgeoning adults have stepped out of their comfort zones and have robustly demonstrated more empathy and compassion than one knowing them superficially would ever have presumed.  Full grown adults have put aside their own issues, concerns, responsibilities and adventures to make room for us and our needs.  And, while there is quite literally nothing any of them can do to make this all go away, they’ve rallied around us fiercely.

In the past, it has not been until a crisis is more comfortably in my rearview mirror that I have been so acutely aware of the astounding level of support not only for me, but for my family.  While I firmly stand behind my assertion that with every crisis there is always one person who disappoints you, I find that it, and that person, no longer matter.  The benevolent in my life so far outweigh the, um, assholes, that it is, in a silver lining kind of way, almost funny.

Let this serve as the first of many thank yous: to my family of origin, my new and wonderful family, friends of long standing, friends of shorter but no less loyal standing, colleagues dating back further than twenty years, professionals, friends who are professionals in this field who have been holding my hand and guiding me to the right people and places, a slew of kids who spent their high school years in the basement of my house and, with perhaps the greatest fervor:  a certain group of frat boys.

We will get through this.  We always do.  But not without our village…all of whom we love.

p.s. Don’t even try to figure out what the snowman has to do with this: it means something to us only. ❤


5 thoughts on “My Snowman

  1. Oh Julie, dear Julie….how you have grown and grown and grown. I’ve known you all your life – felt intimate witih you always, have letters tucked away from your childhood and I know whereof I speak. Julie, I recognize a lot of myself in you, recognize your inner strength and your visible strength too – you share your joys and troubles with those who love you and that adds to your strength. I keep you close to my heart…
    Much and I owe pinwheels to your household.
    Aunt Barbara

  2. Julie, we are on the same ride but ours has a twist, transgender, non bio nary, non conforming. My wife is a facilitator with PFLAG and very much in tune with the LGBTQ community.
    Our “child” is a junior at Mt. Holyoke and can’t wait to get back. This past summer we had less ups and down via meds for depression and a therapist.
    Thank G-D to top surgery at this time but the thought is enough to make me ill.
    If I don’t use the correct pronouns like they/them it’s instant correction from my wife and them (daughter).
    Try to have a conversation with the bank or insurance company. They? “what do you mean, are there more that to drivers? Or, what is the name on the credit card?
    Quite the journey, tighten your seat belt it’s going to get more interesting.

  3. Hi Julie, While I do not know what’s happened, I have been thinking about you and missing you at work. Of course, I am here if I can do anything.

  4. Julie, you are probably one of the strongest people I have ever met. However, on weaker moments (which I am sure you must experience here and there, admit), please remember that you have a friend here. ❤

  5. I don’t know you, but I have read your blog for quite a while. I am heartily sorry that you have had to go through something awful, but I’m sure you have been greatly comforted by the support you have received. That is such a bright light.

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