Confession: I’ve been known to suffer from what I refer to as a PTE – Pop Tart Emergency. (This is not to be confused with a MFFE – McDonald’s french fries emergency – during which I go through the drive-thru but do not pull away before tasting one to ensure it is hot. If it is not, it goes back. Duh.)
The two -PTE and MFFE – are generally interchangeable, a surefire cure for whatever ails me: headache, heartache, bellyache, you name it. The primary difference is that I have to travel to satisfy the MFFE, while the PTE is easily remedied from the comfort of my own home. Except, that is, when one of the teenagers who happens to live with me not only finds my hidden stash (don’t judge me – you wish you’d thought of it) but eats them. As in: the whole box. Not proud to admit, but this might have infuriated me a little.
Upon discovering that my Pops were AWOL, I inquired – via text so as to prevent myself from yelling at someone about, um, Pop Tarts – as to the whereabouts of my
contraband Pop Tarts. I was met with utter and genuine dismay as to why I was annoyed.
Here’s how it went:
Me: Did you take the Pop Tarts out of “the hiding place?!?!?!”
(Note: I named the hiding place – but not going to mention it here because, well, then you would all know my hiding place. That being said, apparently it wasn’t such a crack hiding place…)
Me: Did it occur to you that they were in “the hiding place” for a reason?!?!?!
Teenagers should be publicly flogged.
Oh, I know: their brains aren’t fully developed, they are selfish creatures, they are clueless about the needs of menopausal women, blah blah blah, but seriously – WTF? Is nothing sacred? Get a job and buy your own damn Pop Tarts! Better yet, replace mine. AmIright?
This all happened about an hour ago. I feel (a little) badly about losing my shit over missing Pops, but have stopped short of apologizing for my completely (un)reasonable outburst. I mean, I have to maintain some power, right?
So, off I go to replenish my PTE stash. Or, perhaps, I will give into the MFFE. Clearly I need to do something.